So, today I went to the grocery store to buy bananas, because my favorite breakfast it a frozen banana, vanilla soy milk, and oatmeal, blended up and then drank from a cup with a straw. This does not work without a straw.
But that is not the point. The point was, because the bananas are frozen before I use them and are cheap as all get out, I was thinking I would buy a whole bunch. And this is what I learned. One bunch in your cart makes you look all healthy. Two looks like maybe you want to share your healthy treat with your family or perhaps coworkers. Once you put three bunches in there, you look like a psychopath.
I'm not sure if you really look like a psychopath, or if it's actually kind of related to my phobia of lemons... by the way, I have a pretty intense fear of lemons in groupings greater than three, because I really don't want to be crushed to death by a pile of lemons. That's a worse way to go out then in that Dane Cook skit where Mary took a tire to the face. Could you imagine the police calling your parents and being like "We're really sorry to tell you, but your daughter was killed today at the local Von's... Yes sir, the fruit cart tipped over and the lemons got her. Sorry for your loss."
That would suck so much.
So, anyway, I had to remove one of the bunches of bananas from my cart, so that I only had two bunches, because I didn't want to be judged by my fellow patrons. Granted, I do shop at a grocery store were 99 times out of 100 I'm behind a person that's got to make their food stamp purchase first and then they got a separate transaction for their Schnapps and/or Budweiser Chelada. (For those of you that aren't familiar with Chelada, that's Budweiser mixed with Clamato. Yeah, it's real.)
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