So Bored

So, it's day three of my four days off and I've officially gone insane. Instead of cleaning my apartment (which really looks like I'm squatting in even though I've lived here for almost a year... literally, my bed is on my floor), I've spent my morning mainlining Futurama and reading gossip blogs that make magazines like OK! and The Examiner look classy. Also, I've been reading them aloud. To myself.

I've decided too that I'm going to buy a bar of soap for my birthday next week. Not because I'm dirty... which I am, but because I figure it's been at least 5 years since I last bought a bar of soap. I use body wash, not nothing, if that's what you're thinking.

I am torn on what to buy. I can't have Dove, because even though that's supposed to be all dye-free super sensitive and whatever, it makes me break out like I have herpes. Of my whole body. Not just my hands. Which, after many years of trying to figure out, I still don't know why I have herpes hands. It's not actually herpes, it's just this weird rash that I think might be related to stress that I have on my hands.

Apparently, Palmolive now makes a bar soap... I can't use that. Because it makes me think of greasy dishes, and I am not a greasy dish. I'm googling bar soap right now. And I feel like last time I bought bar soap all you could get was Dove, Irish Spring, Lever 2000, and Dial. Now, there are way too many choices. I'm tempted to go to Von's and look at choices, but I'd really have to shower, because if I don't, they'd probably kick me out for being a hobo. But hobos need soap too. They probably need soap most of all. Maybe I'll buy a pack of soap for my birthday and give it to some hobos. They can wash up in the sprinklers.