I like to pretend that it's a superpower, but it's not.

So, for those over 21, you know what it's like to go out to cheap beer night. And here in Nevada, there's never ever a shortage of beer.

Now, I've been living in the desert in some form or another for nearly 14 years. This fact that does not factor into my feeble brain when I'm drinking cheap beer. If I'm having cocktails, desert survival brain kicks in and tells me to have as glass of water for every, or every other, cocktail.

But, if we're drinking unlimited Bud, Coors, Busch... etc? There is no survival brain. There's just beer brain. This is because I'm highly unlikely to actually get drunk from these beers unless I'm shotgunning them at a rate that with my bladder, means I should just take my pitcher of beer and sit on the toilet until I'm done peeing... forever.

I get so busy keeping my buzz on, making sure my beer is always full, and not drinking so much that I have to urinate every 3 seconds, that I forget to drink water. And even when I get home after a night of drinking beer, I seriously just stare at the bottle of water next to my bed like I am the far superior being. I don't need that water. Until about 2 hours later, and I have to give the water bottle credit for not judging me when I wake up feverish and moaning in the early stages of dehydration.

And I keep doing this... I mean, even rats learn that the cheese is electrified and stop doing it. My superpower makes me dumber than a rat. Go team me, go.